A Reprieve

The last few days with my dear friend have been such a gift! Besides being able to catch up and meet her precious little girl (Sus was my freshman roommate and one of my closest friends throughout college--we pledged KKG together), she has brought a much needed perspective on our dynamic with Max, a chance to laugh often AND speak English, a nice change of pace, and some face-to-face encouragement. Marta has been a good buddy for Max, in a big brother/little sister way.

Kudos to both Max and Marta! We ate at a nicer restaurant last night and had to wait some minutes before bread was brought. All in all, they were golden for 45 minutes! All three of the adults were a little in awe and thankful...

We had our 1/2 way check-in with our social worker here, her bosses, and our translator this morning. The general consensus was positive on both sides: They will make a recommendation for us to adopt Max on Oct. 14 in Mateszalka, the town near Max's village, and we said, "He's our boy." So, two more weeks to go--thanks for praying us through each step (literally).

48 Hours

Here are some highlights of the last 48 hours with our son (in no particular order):

1) Watching him laugh hysterically as he filled some cheap sand toys we bought with tiny pasta and scatter them all over the floor of our apartment

2) Listening to him "sing" "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" with us as we take our nightly post-dinner stroll

3) Renting bikes and riding to the edge of town to pick up some groceries at the TESCO (European version of Wal-Mart)

4) Repeating phrases from U2's "All That You Can't Leave Behind" while "helping" mommy wash dishes (Shout out to the Miller family! :)

5) Seeing him interact with kids of all ages including Angie's friend's one-and-a-half year-old daughter Marta, sharing his cars and food with her

Susannah and Marta arrived this evening. Hooray! How incredible it is to have a conversation with another adult entirely in English! Seriously, the timing of this visit is perfect and will help sustain us through the rest of our time here.

As we listened to our pastor Dave's sermon from James 1 on-line last night, we couldn't help but pause at the phrase "every good and perfect gift comes from the Father above." We have received so many gifts from Him directly and through His people. Wish we had time to share them all with you--we are keeping a list!

Testing and Trusting

It's been reassuring to hear from so many of you that Max sounds like a typical 3year-old--favorite word is "no" (or "nem" in our case), patience comes in small doses, and tantrums come randomly and for no apparent reason! It feels good to know we are not alone! There have been some truly encouraging moments and observations in the last couple of days, too. Max is starting to put together a couple of 2 word phrases ("wash hand" and "brush teeth," for example) and his English vocabulary is expanding quickly. He's been listening and obeying a little better-- a good sign of trust. He did very well at a cafeteria-type restaurant we tried for lunch today (first time to eat out!). And we've seen him interact with other kids at a couple of the playgrounds we frequent here in town. He's enthralled watching them, and when he engages, is helpful, shares well, and plays very nicely. We've been seriously impressed! He is definitely a social boy and will love playing with his cousins and friends from church!

We are doing well--as long as we continue to remind ourselves "one day at a time." Right now the monotony of everyday life in a place that is not "home" is taking its toll a bit. Fortunately, we have something very special to look forward to this week! Angie's college friend Susannah and her daugther Marta who now live in Macedonia are coming to visit us on Tuesday for a few days! We can't wait!

P.S. Max seems to be doing just fine after his tumble the other day--a scraped shoulder seems to be the lingering effect. We are so grateful!

Oh, Crash--Part 2!

Yesterday afternoon was our initiation into the world of scary and helpless parenting moments. After an enjoyable second time at the waterpark, Max wasn't looking where he was going and took a hard tumble, scraping his shoulder and bumping his head. Needless-to-say, he was scared and upset! We took him to the first aid on-site where a medic checked him out--this scared him some more--but helped reassure us. After a couple of phone calls to our contacts here, we decided collectively to keep a watch on him through the night. This morning he seemed back to his old self. A lot of details skipped...but once again God met our needs in the right ways and time.

As an aside, we realize that Max's and our frustration at times is the language barrier. Any adoption experiences out there that could speak into this?

We also wanted to share the time-line for the rest of our time here in Hungary. Our 30-day bonding period ends on Oct. 14 when we get official custody. Sunday the 16th we travel to Budapest and on Monday and Tuesday sign all the paperwork, birth certificates, passports, etc. for Max. Our flight out is Wednesday, Oct. 19th. and our anticipated return is 12:25a.m. (6:25 Hungarian time) on the 20th. It will be one long day, but Jeff's dad Dave will be helping us on the return flights....How we anticipate that day!

P. S. For those of you who have tried to post but have not been able to, somebody recommended hitting "preview" and then "post comment."

Oh, Crash!

One of the first words Max picked up with us was "crash"--from playing with Matchbox cars. Somewhere along the way he added the word "oh" before it. He repeats it several times throughout the day--most of the time it makes sense in context--like when we are walking and go over bumps in the stroller. Speaking of bumps and crashes, we feel like we're hitting a few right now. Some of this is basic 3 year-old stuff; some of it is transition and grieving a lost life. We understand this is part of the process; nonetheless, it is wearing on us. As we mentioned before, Max comes from a very little village where he had free reign of the place; everyone knew him and he knew everyone--a far cry from the little resort city and apartment we are staying in where he/we know no one. He does much better outside than in. He has pretty much stopped playing inside altogether and simply waits for the next time to go outside (which has been 2x the amount of time we've spent indoors)--occasionally with patience, but more frequently with meltdowns. We could really use your prayers for wisdom and discernment on how to approach this as well as for Max that God would calm his heart and mind. Fortunately, God gives us some "breathers" and some really sweet moments together in the midst. Thanks everyone for listening and praying.

Waterpark

One of the words that Max is recognizing right now in his First Words book is fish; it's very appropriate because he loves to swim and do anything in water, including washing his hands multiple times a day (actually, we have limit his time in the sink)! We discovered how much he loves to swim today at the waterpark in the town where we're living. It was a hit! There was a cool water pool with a huge pirate's ship and another one with iodine in it that was fed by hot springs that are common here in Hungary. We also witnessed once again how friendly he is as he shared with other kids and talked freely with other adults (How we wish we knew what he is saying--it's both endearing to watch and a little nerve-wracking!) Eating and potty are still inconsistent, but we guess that's par for the course right now. Another favorite object is the umbrella stroller we brought with us. Max either pushes it, letting us know that our aid is not neeeded, or contentedly rides in it for hours (literally). We take a walk every night before bed and usually another one during the day. Daily grocery trips are also part of our walks.

Your continued prayers, encouragement, scriptures, and comments on the blog and via e-mail echo and inspire what we have asked God for--it's incredible!

Date Night

Overall, a positive day. Walked with Max (strolling most it) for over 3 hours at different times. He loves being outside. Melting down around meals and during "transitions." Can I get an AMEN?! So, we're going to keep it short tonight. Date Night here in Hungary for the Unruhs! We're going to watch a FAMILY TIES episode on a dvd we brought and drink some seltzer water while Max sleeps. :) WE MISS YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Broken trash bags, melt-downs, and bed, bath, and beyond?

So, when is there a Hefty bag when you need one? Somehow the trash bag broke and everything went all over the floor, dinner was not quite done, and our little guy was melting down. I guess this is Parenting 101? The culmination of the last few days has now set in for Max; it was a hard day. We can't imagine how a three-year-old processes what he has just been through. It was off-set, however, by the very sweet bath time. He loved playing with some bath toys in our make-shift shower/tub and cuddling on his daddy's lap. Thankfully, as well, he walked by himself to bed, got in, and fell asleep within a few minutes...pretty cute.

Can I just brag on my wife for a moment? She was AMAZING with Max tonight--such a comfort to our son in the midst of it all. Of course, I'm sure this is not hard for most of you to imagine. :)

P.S. We heard some of you have been unable to post on our blog. Thanks for your e-mails and facebook message. We wish we could do something to change that. Checked our settings again tonight, but couldn't find anything. But we're about as technically illiterate as they come. Any help out there?!

SURVIVOR Adoption

First of all, a few things to thank God for today:

1) Our health (although Max came with a bit of a cold--fortunately, we do have some meds for him)

2) Gorgeous weather--10 days in a row! (Being outside is huge!

3) Our Hungarian--aka NO English translation--cell phone was out of service for 24 hours (great story but too long for here), but was, dare we say it, miraculouly restored today.

So many great things about the adoption process/people--our coordinators, our agency, etc.-- here in Hungary, but 30 days living in a foreign country with almost no English spoken around us in a small apartment with an active 3 year old and none of our family or community here with us does remind us of the tv show SURVIVOR.

Two awesome things about today with Max. He's atarting to pick up several English words (boy, baby, yes, foot, and crash) and will probably be bi-lingual at least for a short time in the near future. We think he's going to be a real chatterbox in his new language! And he took his first nap with us. We "imitated" how to do it--and after a few tears, he fell asleep sitting up against Angie. So cute! Bath was rough tonight, but he crawled right into bed. Poor guy is exhausted. Mommy and Daddy need some sleep now, so thanks to you all for reading, praying, posting, and loving us so well over the miles.

It's 8:45 p.m. here in Hungary on Thursday, and as we write, our little guy is asleep in the next room. He fell asleep about an hour ago--exhausted (no nap either day). Pretty much the same story last night, although it took a bit longer and some newly acquired parental creativity! But we get ahead of ourselves . . .

So hard to put the last 2 days into words, and we're both English majors. :) Overall, it's been an unbelievable transition so far. Here's the quick hour by hour:

Wednesday
7 a.m. Leave apartment for Mateszalks, drive 2 hours
9-11 a.m. Hungarian immigration paperwork
11-11:30 Drive to Max's foster home
11:30 to 12:45 Lunch, gather a few of Max's things, quick goodbyes
12:45 to 4:30 Travel "home" with sidetrip to to photos for Max's passport
4:30-7:15 Settle in, dinner, playground, shower, bed
7:15-8:15 "Sleep" alongside Max
8:15-10 Regroup, thank God, pack some things for Thursday, go to bed

Thursday
5:45 Up and get ready
6:15 Wake Max up
6:45-10 Drive to Budapest
10-11:15 Appointment with American Consulate
11:15-12 Lunch, check out hotel for end of trip
12=3:45 Return trip home
3:44-7:30 Jeff takes Max to playground to give Ang some time, Ang plays with Max so Jeff can run, Dinner, walk and ice cream, shower, bed for Max (after just a few tears)
7:30 to now Check in with each other and check e-mail

Hopefully, this gives you a bit of the picture of the last 2 days. It's been non-stop. Max is a TROOPER. He's hung in there through everything--all that time in the car, and he's only been half an hour from his home before in this life. Totally engaged. No tears. He's responding to us, calling us mommy and daddy already. There's definitely a connection between the 3 of us. And he's super cute--but VERY active. We're exhausted. How do you all who are parents do this, seriously? God has been so good to us through it all. We feel incredibly blessed. But it's hard doing this on our own. One day at time.

I think we'll say this every post because we mean it with all our hearts--THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS AND PRAYERS!

Answered Prayers

Family and Friends--Angie commented that we are like watering pots as we read your comments on the blog. We weep--literally. And we'll say it every day just to remind you that we totally believe your prayers on behalf are being answered. Let us give you 3 quick examples.

One we hadn't even had a chance to share with you yet. Apparently our paperwork had been wired here but had not physically arrived. We found this out on Monday--we were able to send out an e-mail to contacts here and heard that it actually arrived within the past 24 hours. Would have been so hard to face delays or, worse, lost paperwork. So thankful.

Two. A shout out to Sara and the Moores at Northpoint Homeschool Co-op for covering all the bases for Angie while we are gone.

Three. Our "test" car ride with Max was in the words of one of our coordinators, "one of the best" he's seen. First trip a few tears and reluctance to get in the car seat at first. He sat with his foster mom in the back, but eventually climbed into the seat all on his own! We couldn't believe it! After another half an hour, we went out for round 2. This time--no tears and he got in the car seat on his own! No foster mom, just us and the coordinators. We drove for about 20 minutes and kept him entertained. Again, prayers answered--we were pretty nervous but sensed God with us giving a peace that cannot be explained.

We have no guarantees for tomorrow. But we will trust and take one step at a time. Can't wait to tell you all so much more in person. We love you.

P.S. We had a wonderful dinner out tonight--probably the last for quite a while--here in the town we're staying.

Day 3 in Max's village

Your posts brought tears to our eyes as we read your messages--thank you! We're hanging on to each word we read and TRULY grateful for each prayer, as they really keep us going (so mean that!). Honestly, we might be freaking out without sensing God's involvement through you and through scripture and/or devotions that have spoken directly to us--so like God.

Today was another long car ride (4+ hours round trip)to see Max. We'll be glad for those to be over! His village is nestled close to the Romanian border, picturesque but poor. Each day we've gone on a walk down his lane to a pond by which is a tiny church, built in 1327. He seems quite curious about it. We even went in yesterday before services. A couple people from the village talked highly of him to us, in Hungarian, of course, which our translator shared with us. Two older women were very dear and almost seemed to be giving a blessing on the adoption. There was a short trip to get ice cream, which was our first venture in the car together, although the foster mom was with us. Tomorrow we'll go on a longer ride in preparation for Wednesday. By the end of our time today, he was tired and ready for his nap, but not ready for us to go--a very good sign. There will be many tears on Wednesday, as we are taking him from everything he knows--a very small village in which he knows everybody and has freedom to roam, the very loving foster family, and his language. Big picture, this is the right step but anticipating that this will be hard for all us in the next few days.

Prayer Requests

Just finished watching the weekend service video opener from Grace on-line while we had dinner. Gave us a little taste of what we missed--definitely find ourselves straddling 2 worlds! We were very moved both by the stories and headlines we've been surfing on the internet. We have a new appreciation of technology and our country!

Our second day with Max was much like the first. We did some exploring outside and playing inside. We even spent about 15 minutes looking through a picture book of My First Words and beginning to work on some English. Meanwhile, we are trying to learn a few key phrases in Hungarian--can't tell you how hard this is, particularly "gy" which is some incredibly difficult combination of g, y, d, and h (we have no sound like it in English!), but it shows up in the word "vagy" which means "are you" which is absolutely necessary to know! Anyway, we caught a glimpse of Max's independent spirit, but he was also responsive, even to us. We're working hard to take charge as mommy and daddy . . . we're in the "handing over the reigns" stage in tranisitioning authority. And this is where we would ask for your prayers specifically. We have 2 more days of visiting Max in his foster care home (Monday and Tuesday). Wednesday morning we sign some official paperwork and bring him back to our place to begin the 30 day temporary custody phase. We don't assume this will be easy for any of us, but your prayers for patience, strength, wisdom, and some quick language acquisition are greatly appreciated. Anybody want to fly over to Hungary?! :)

Max Janos

Cute. Animated. Active. Friendly. Chatty. Who does this sound like? There does seem to be a family resemblance to his daddy. We left our flat at 8:30 this morning, drove 2 hours to meet our social worker, and then almost another hour to see Max. To our amazement, he was very prepared to meet us. The caseworker said that he was telling everybody in town he was going to live in America with his new mommy and daddy (and that's how we were introduced right away). We spent about 2 hours together as he showed us his toys (LOVES cars) and his neighborhood. He seems healthy and every bit the three-year-old in activity and speech. Tired tonight and definitely daunted by the days ahead. Max seemed very comfortable with us and we with him--definitely a connection. We think he's our little guy alright! Knowing that tomorrow is 9/11, we are struggling not to be in the States with you all on such a significant anniversary. Please know that we are praying with you, and again, thanks for all the encouragement on the posts--they are a life-line.

How many kinds of water are there?!

This has been a real dilemma for us--we keep trying different brands of water each time we go to the store. So far we've ended up with sparkling, mineral, flavored, and still (not on purpose!) We think we finally found a brand to stick with! Seriously, today we had a visit from George, our coordinator here in Hungary. He gave us some more details for the rest of our intinerary here. Tomorrow we will meet with the social worker first and then go visit Max in his foster care home for a short while. Crazy! The following days we will spend a portion of with Max. Oh, and by the way, we will be staying here in our apartment in Hajduszoboszlo--which is great, because it's safe and spacious and we won't have to move our stuff and resettle and move back again. On Tuesday or Wendesday we will go to Budapest for the day for an appointment with the American consulate there. George is very kind and no nonsense. He's working hard to move the process along. We're in good hands. We're both excited and scared about tomorrow, yet have a sense of peace in the midst. God is present.

Exploring

Szia (That's hi in Hungarian--think "see ya")! After a good night's sleep (thank you, God, and Ambien!) and a mid-morning nap, we're feeling much more rested. This afternoon we ventured into our new hometown and did some exploring. It's a kind of resort area filled with hotel/spas (aka. people walking around in terry bath robes apparently after having been pampered). We ordered at a restaurant with the help of our dictionary, some gesturing, and a helpful waiter. We also bought some groceries--it's nice b/c we can walk, getting to most of what we need, minus Tesco, which is like Walmart or Super Target. Mostly, we feel calm. There are moments of "What are we doing?" It's very humbling to be in another culture without the assurance of knowing how to communicate or know how things work...that's where we REALLY are trusting the Father to guide us! Please know you all are very often in our thoughts and prayers--how we continue to be thankful for each of you!

Arrival!

We're here! (And all 6 bags with us!) Truly an uneventful voyage, for which we are very grateful. We were met at the Budapest airport by one of our coordinators Adam who drove us to Hajduszoboszlo, the resort town we're be staying with Max for the majority of our time here. (Thought we'd actually be staying in Budapest until Saturday, but we are closer to where our meeting is and where Max lives here.) Great little apartment and cute little town, although we are going to leave the exploring until tomorrow. Adam helped us get a phone and internet hook-up as well as some groceries--we feel like we're in good hands. Ready for some food and some sleep now. The next 2 days we'll hang out here and get to know the town--and then on Saturday we have our appointment at 10 and then we're off to meet Max. Still hard to believe this is really happening. Please pray that we would get acclimated to being in a foreign country quickly enough to exert our energies towards becoming parents. We are incredibly grateful for all of you and feel your prayers and love with us.

Off we go...

The to-do list is dwindling, and within 24 hours we'll be on our way across the great pond. Wednesday morning we arrive in London and then fly into Budapest a couple hours later. We'll be staying in an apartment there for a few days until we have our official government appointment on Sat. the 10th. Thanks for all your prayers. The appointment was a huge answer. Sometime on Saturday or Sunday we'll meet our son! It's hard to believe this is really happening. These last few weeks we have felt the love and support from our incredible family and friends--thank you so much! We'll keep you posted!