Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Oh, Crash!
One of the first words Max picked up with us was "crash"--from playing with Matchbox cars. Somewhere along the way he added the word "oh" before it. He repeats it several times throughout the day--most of the time it makes sense in context--like when we are walking and go over bumps in the stroller. Speaking of bumps and crashes, we feel like we're hitting a few right now. Some of this is basic 3 year-old stuff; some of it is transition and grieving a lost life. We understand this is part of the process; nonetheless, it is wearing on us. As we mentioned before, Max comes from a very little village where he had free reign of the place; everyone knew him and he knew everyone--a far cry from the little resort city and apartment we are staying in where he/we know no one. He does much better outside than in. He has pretty much stopped playing inside altogether and simply waits for the next time to go outside (which has been 2x the amount of time we've spent indoors)--occasionally with patience, but more frequently with meltdowns. We could really use your prayers for wisdom and discernment on how to approach this as well as for Max that God would calm his heart and mind. Fortunately, God gives us some "breathers" and some really sweet moments together in the midst. Thanks everyone for listening and praying.
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Angie, Jeff and Max,
ReplyDeleteAs we read your latest blog, we were struck by the fact that you, as a family, have been together only seven days. In spite of the aloneness and frustration that you may be feeling at times, the progress that you have made in your relationships is nothing short of miraculous! Please don't get down on yourselves but concentrate on the positive signs of success that have occurred thus far in the building of your family . You are doing an amazing job!
There are several really positive factors that you have in your favor right now:
First, Max has not seemed to have had any type of panic attacks or severe response to being separated from his foster family. From what you have said, he has come a great way in viewing you both as his caregivers and parents. Three weeks ago, if you had been told that Max would be responding to you as positively as he is right now after only a week's time, you most likely would not have believed it would have been possible. Keep this in perspective.
Second, if you have to make the most of outside time, you are in the right place. I checked out Wikepedia and the write up about "Soboszlo" and found that the city where you are is noted for the number of sun drenched days it experiences yearly. In checking on the Weather Channel site just now, your little town is predicted to have ten uninterrupted sunny and mild days ahead without a hint of rain or grayness in the forecast. Just the right place to be if you have to get out and hit the pavement often.
Third, you have people in many far flung parts of the world praying for you in nearly "live time" as we read and pray over your triumphs and areas of concern that are included in your blog entries. This should give you a great sense of the care and concern that so many feel for your little family.
God's blessings to the three of you!
Dad and Mom (Nagypapa es Nagymama)
Will so pray specifically about this part of your journey and KNOW God will provide in a way you can't even imagine!! Putting 3 people in your circumstances would be stressful no matter what..new to each other, limited face to face support with those they know and love, transplanted into a new, different environment.Wow that would be a lot for anyone!!! Vacations can be great, but many of us long for home after a certain point..return to our normal..only you all are creating in compact, fast, intense New normal. I pray for you all at 645 am and then as I think of you guys thru out the day. Take care~Sue
ReplyDeletePs will miss seeing you tonight at our first drama team meeting Jeff.
Hi Jeff & Angie--I'm loving this story; what precious memories you are making! Chris S. was right about enjoying the time with just the three of you. Our time in China with just Danika is very special and though I wouldn't have wanted to be away from home for 30 days, when you come back there will be so many demands for your attention and time.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to say that one day when I was having a particularly rough moment with our (then) three year old, another adoptive mom said something to me that I have often found encouraging ever since. It's simple, but reminds me of what a walk of faith parenting is: "God gave you (I would add "will give you") what you need to raise the child he has given to you."
He will provide what you need (maybe it's those sunny days just for Max!) when you need them. Watch for his fingerprints on everything--oh, boy, are they there!
PS--to the people who had problems posting a comment, try previewing it before clicking on "post comment".
Jan, Dave & Danika Siener
I was wondering if it would be helpful if he had other children to interact with. Do they have such things as story hour at the library? Or playgrounds where other children hang out at?
ReplyDeleteHey Jeff and Ang,
ReplyDeleteWill pray for guidance. Sounds like he is testing your resolve. 3 yr olds are wizards at this! Just keep on doing what you are doing and give lots of hugs and he will come to feel safe with you as he sees that you are the same today that you were yesterday that you will be tomorrow.... sounds like the security Christ gives to us.
God knows you are just what Max needs, as He is just what you need! Love you guys!
Praying for all 3 of you....for creativity and patience through the meltdowns. And praising God for the gorgeous weather to be outside!! Is this the makings of a boy who loves the outdoors or what? I see camping and backpacking in your future?!! :) Keith volunteers to go along. :)
ReplyDeleteWe know you guys are doing a great job...and at the same time can tell that it's hard. Once again, 2 things are true at once....you are experiencing the most wonderful blessing and it can still be hard. God knows both parts of it...and will walk you through it all. Love what Sara said earlier...just hug him alot...and God will take care of him and you. Wish it was easier...God knows exactly what Max needs and He'll give it to him through you! Hugs to you both! Wish we were there to give that little boy a squeeze. :)
Our family sat outside at dinner wondering about you and longing for you all! Love the encouraging things everyone has written. I'm sure the line is definitely blurred between typical three-yr-old behavior (in my book was worse than the "terrible twos") and his responses to the near restart button on his life! Praying for you so many times throughout the day that God will give you what you all need in the moment. Praying that those moments of sweetness are extra sweet! Be thinking of ways we can help when you get home so you can "hit the ground running." Love you three!
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